“Train a child in the way they should go”….

This verse from Proverbs 22:6 is one of those verses that parents cling to as they seek to teach, model and instill in their children the truths of God’s Word.  Because God is faithful we know that we can trust Him at His Word and that as we seek to instruct our children of the love of God and help them to grasp and understand the beauty of the Gospel that God will honor those efforts.  The verse doesn’t promise that our children will never have a rebellious streak or a a season of being a prodigal, but it does tell us that God’s Word is powerful and when we raise our children in the way the Bible instructs and model to them a Christ-centered life, the Lord will use that to work in their lives even after they have left our homes.  Recently I have been listening to lots of sermons and over the past few days I have heard some deeply convicting truths that have resonated with my heart and brought a new perspective on this verse.  This truth is simply referred to as “The Principle of the Path,” and was coined by Andy Stanley.

The essence of this principle can be summed up in one small, but powerful, sentence, “Direction, not intention, leads to destination.” WOW!  As I heard Andy unpack this principle I was both astonished and saddened at the same time.  Let me explain why. There is a sad, but all too real, reality that is devastating our young people in that nearly 7 out of 10 kids who are raised in church are walking away from their faith and the church once they graduate from high school in a phenomenon that has been deemed,”graduating from God.”  But I thought that Proverbs tells us this won’t happen, is God not keeping up His end of the bargain?  The answer is that God is faithful and has not changed, the problem is we as parents are not fulfilling our responsibility. What do I mean by this?  Every parent’s intentions are for their children to grow up and love the Lord, be involved in church and to be committed to their faith once they leave the safety of our homes and head off into the real world be it college or the work force. That is the destination they desire for them, but as the stats show more and more that is not the case.  Church kids are walking away and not looking back leaving parents scratching their heads and wiping away their tears saying, “we didn’t raise them to be this way.”  Sadly enough, that is exactly how we have raised them!  Too many parents today, despite their intentions, are teaching their children that every thing else in their lives is more important than church and God.  Parents are elevating sports, band, grades and other things above God and church.  How are they doing this? Many parents either knowingly or unknowingly have taught their kids that success on the court or on the field or in the classroom is most important and that anytime one of those things comes into conflict with church, church always takes the backseat. Church is no longer essential.

The intentions of the parents is to have godly and Christ-centered children, but the direction they are on is that sports and grades are most important, so the destination is not going to be the heartfelt intentions of the parents.  When Proverbs tell us that when we “train a child in the way they should go and that when they are older they will not depart from it,” the negative of that is true as well.  If we as parents train our children to make sports, grades and fill in the blank__________ penultimate then when they get older that will be the truth they know and God will not be what is most essential.  This is a really scary reality.  We are given commands as parents in Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78 to teach our children about the Lord when we wake up and lie down and when we walk along the way so that they will put their confidence in God and trust in Him.  I think that many of us have missed the mark and in reality we are not directing our children towards this destination, but away from it.  I have been really asking myself what direction am I leading my children on and does that lead them to a deep and intimate walk with Christ?  The reality is our time with our children is short and fleeting.  To emphasize this reality I gave each of the parents of the kids in my youth group a jar filled with beads.  The beads represented the number of weekends they had left with their student before they leave for college.  As my wife and I counted out these beads I thought of my own children but also the students in my youth group in whose lives I see this principle being played out and it broke my heart.  Our challenge as parents is to elevate Christ above all things and model that before our kids in how we live our lives, the schedules we keep and the way we use our money and time.  I desire for my sons to love Jesus and live passionately for Him, and if those are the intentions of my heart then I must prayerfully strive to set them on the path that will indeed lead to that Christ-centered destination.